Blog Response: Kirsten

First off, I think this is a GREAT idea for your research paper. It’s interesting and I totally relate to it. I may not have taken any emotional literacy class in grade school, but I was raised by a therapist, so I can attest to S.E.L’s groundbreaking outcomes. To this day, my mom still gives me an emotional lesson, whether it’s about boyfriends, alcohol, or handling drama. Like the 2011 study mentioned in the article, I’ve noticed that I’m not as anxious or depressed as other students. So S.E.L doesn’t just have to be an educational curriculum, it could also serve as a practice for parents.

There’s something about making sense of your feelings and other’s that brings you to your “center.” I might be looking at it a more spiritual sense here, but it’s almost like a “namaste” moment (which literally translates to “I bow to you”). We’re all human in the end and if there’s just one thing that unites us all, it’s our endless battle with emotion. We all have emotional anchors so why not acknowledging how other’s feel in conjunction with your own emotion. That’s why introducing such a practice at such a young age would have a huge impact on the well being of further generations. 

It looks like Pixar is already on board with S.E.L. after making Inside Out. I haven’t seen it, but I know it’s about the personification of emotions in a little girl’s head. In the article, a psychologist said that even with a top-notch academic program, children wouldn’t make any advance until they’ve gotten to the core of their social and emotional issues. I’m sure a lot of students who are the bad apples of the bunch are just struggling with issues at home. It’s likely that channeling those problems in the classroom would ripped those apples. 

I recently read an article similar to this one, but it’s about introducing mindfulness meditation to the classroom. Studies showed similar effect to S.E.L. One psychologist in the article mentioned that emotional literacy also gives children “the ability to stop and calm down” just like you would do in a meditation practice. 

Tying this in with writing and healing makes me wonder if emotional literacy would ever become just as common place at history or science. If it does, I’m 100% certain that writing exercises would be mandatory.

Blog Response: Allie

Kirsten’s research creates a perfect segue into yours. I remember watching this news story about a 6 year old girl who identifies herself as male. I thought it was pretty interesting considering how young she is. Most individuals make this realization when their much older. But I always wondered what made her—I mean him, comfortable and emotionally ready enough to declare such a life changing thing? Perhaps her parents or school stressed emotional literacy! Whatever the case may be, I recommended looking up the story. 

The article suggests that in order to “move beyond the binary” is to change perspective. While it doesn’t really focus on emotional literacy, it gives a lot of great background and examples of how sex and gender, in any circumstance, can affect an individual. In this case, we’ll be focusing on young boys at an emotional level. 

The Buzzed article made me think of my good guy friend. He’s what we call metrosexual meaning, “a young, urban, heterosexual male with an interest in fashion, and a refined sense of taste.” But a lot of people these days define the term as, “a guy who’s straight but comes off as gay.” Whenever someone asks if he’s gay, he gets really offended and upset, sometimes even confused. His masculinity is questioned and incidentally leaves him with a wounded ego. He’s a pretty sensitive dude because of it. 

So looking at his past and how he was raised may have to do with his feminine character. I’m making this whole theory up, but it’s a good why of fleshing out your topic for the research paper. He grew up in New York City and his father is a wealthy business man. So, his privileged upbringing ingrained the gender norm that men typically dress well and have impeccable taste. 

I’m not sure where writing and healing comes into this, but I can see when emotional literacy is introduced in the classroom, discussing how boys feel versus how girls feel can bring up the question of why “big boys don’t cry.” Then again, it depends on the age, because boy cry regardless when they’re little. I don’t know how much of an impact emotional literacy would have in changing sex/gender views. But it’s possible that it could change how people feel about their identity. 

Micro-essay: Competition

Jordan invited me to his place for a Campus Center party he was throwing. We already hooked up a couple of times and already declared that we really like each other, so we were borderline dating, but not quite there yet. I took it as a test—a test to show him that I could go to a party with him and not cling on to his arm the whole night. The last thing I wanted was to be needy or attached. 

So I drank, smoked, danced—the whole nine yards. From time to time I’d walk up to Jordan and talk to him and his Campus Center friends, showing that I can be a social butterfly without making things awkward. 

At one point, there was a flip cup game going on and one of my friends forced me to play. Funny enough, Jordan was across the table from me, meaning we were against each other. So we had a bit a flirty competition. 

But then came the REAL competition. After the game, I went out on the front porch and had a casual convo with Jordan and his friends again. Suddenly a girl stumbled out and wrapped her arms around Jordan’s neck and whispered in his ear. I stared at him, waiting for Jordan to remove her arms…he didn’t. I played it cool, knowing that he wouldn’t do anything because he was technically with me.

I never had the urge to claw her eyes out or rip the hair from her scalp. I knew she was drunk and I knew she didn’t know that Jordan and I were a “thing.” If anything, it was amusing to watch her make all these moves with no reaction. But I eventually got fed up and I went back inside, continuing with the festivities. 

And before I knew it, everyone was gone and it was just me and Jordan.

                                              ***

A couple weeks later Jordan invited me to eat dinner with him at Campus Center. While I nibbled on my grilled cheese sandwich, and he devoured a plate of brussels sprouts, I saw her. We made eye contact and she gave me a glare I’ve never received before. This chick was bad news.

                                              ***

The following weeks we’d cross paths on our way to class and she continued to give me the stank face. 

                                              ***

Just a few days ago, my friend Lilly texted me saying, “I have to talk to you about Jordan…” I was confused since Lilly had never met Jordan, only heard about him through girl talk. 

“What about him?” I responded.

“He works with a girl I know, and she was talking to me about you and Jordan. She said stuff about him…”

“Bad stuff?” I asked. At this point, Jordan and I have already discussed our relationship status, agreeing that we’ll declare boyfriend and girlfriend-dome when we’re both ready. We’re still getting to know each other and don’t want to dive into something too serious too soon. 

“Yes and no,” she texted. “First, she said she’s gonna bang him…Second, he’s talked about you to her saying that he doesn’t want a relationship and that he thinks you’re too attached to him.” Here is where my face went red. Why was this girl (who doesn’t even know me) saying things completely untrue? Did she have some diabolical plan in mind? Is she going to seduce Jordan? Tell lies about me to him? 

I thought I had already left the drama of junior, sophomore, and freshmen year, but I guess not. 

“She could be lying,” Lily said. “But they work together and you’re my friend and I don’t want this jerk breaking your heart.” I appreciated Lilly looking out for me, but she’s never seen Jordan and I in limelight. He rubs my butt in public for goodness sake, how in “like” with me could he be? I rationalized the situation, telling myself that everything this girl is saying thwarts Jordan’s actions. I wasn’t attached, I’d always have him initiate texts conversations. In fact, he was the one that brought up our relationship status asking, “Am I your boyfriend?” 

It just didn’t make sense. This chick was lying. This chick was threatened and was out to get me. 

“They haven’t don't anything, but she says she wants to,” Lily continued. 

“I’m pretty sure she’s just jealous.” I said. I knew this was all a blip, but for the next few days I couldn’t get this girl out of my mind. I was too scared to confront Jordan about it. I didn’t want to come off as the jealous, dramatic type because I’m not.

I kept asking myself, why? Just why? Why does this girl want to compete for sex with Jordan? Why is she even trying? She probably knows that Jordan and I are very much in a relationship. Maybe it’s just that she has a competitive nature.

I don’t. I have no desire to play tug of war with her. He’s mine, I’m his, it’s evident.

I’ll admit, she’s a beautiful girl. She could get any guy she wants, but she choses to go for the guy who’s already dating someone. What sucks about the whole situation is that I’m involved in this competition without wanting to be in it. It’s like I have no choice. 

And the more I analyze the situation, the more I want to do something about it. 

Maybe I’ll go to the sex shop and buy some rope and handcuffs. If this girl wants to play rough, then so be it. Jordan is mine and I’ll put him on a leash if I have to…

From Trauma to Writing: A Theoretical Model for Practical Use

Why do some writing professors advocate personal essay as a course and others don’t? Why do students choose to write about traumatic events? What’s the evidence that proves personal essay is healing and therapeutic? 

These questions and more are discussed in MacCurdy’s piece, From Trauma to Writing. She begins by looking into the brain and what happens when we experience a traumatic event. Everything that happens during that traumatic moment skims the surface of our conscious, verbal state and goes strait to our sensory center. This explains why such events are so vivid in out minds. That’s why students often write about it—because it’s easily accessible. You can be as vivid and descriptive in your writing at possible. Writing it all out thus helps with healing, making the internal external. Linking memory to images, images to word, and words to emotion. 

I remember I had an assignment in my personal essay class where we had to write about some sort of life-changing/traumatic event. I wrote about how I almost drowned as a kid. I was only six, but I can picture it like it was literally yesterday. 

MacCurdy gives tons of evidence why we remember these terrible experiences, using research studies as well as her own personal observation with student’s writing and reactions to personal essay assignments. A lot of her students found it difficult to retrieve such details. Some make there experience a cliché by labeling their experience rather than getting to the root of the story. It’s even been mention how writer’s often resist such deep, specific description because they feel uncomfortable re-living the trauma. It’s true when they say, the devil’s in the detail. But once you successfully verbalize the imagery, student’s can delve deeper and “form order from chaos.”

Personal essay, unifies the pain and isolation caused by trauma, thus bringing student’s together, but also stressing their individuality. I think college isn’t just an institution aimed to land students a job, it’s also an environment where students learn to detach themselves from the comforts of home and learn what it means to be an individual, independent human being and surviving in the world. Personal essay fuels a basic human understanding that we all have pain—life isn’t all unicorns and rainbows. 

A lot of healing comes from sensory detail. But what if, for some reason, you just can’t remember some key details. Do you guess to the best of your ability and lie? Do you think healing is still possible in this case? Or does it mean that the absence of a particular scene or image mean something more? Like the example of the student who loved her grandmother but couldn’t remember much detail and realized she never really had a relationship with her.